29 doesn't bother me as much as I thought it would.

I am one of the fortunate ones. I have a wonderful family, good friends and a little boy who is my world. I have made some pretty awful decisions in my life, there are days when I feel like a total failure because of my poor judgment in character or just my lack of foresight. But I get out of the consequences of my actions practically unscathed. So thank you, whoever you are: God, Lady Luck, Buddha etc for the immense support you have given me by letting me be born into my family and in the same circles as my dearest friends. I honestly believe that without them, I would have been just another hopeless wreck.

Here's to being a step away from 30.

A Letter Addressed to No One

S,

I stumbled upon your profile and seeing you again after all these years feels very weird indeed. I remember all the hurt feelings that I hid and all the things I made myself ignore to make the person I cared about at the time happy. I tortured myself thinking that maybe if I were more like you, perhaps that person will take notice. Perhaps if I had less respect for myself or if I weren't so bookish that I could take the crude "your mom" and penis jokes a little better. Or if I smoked pot (eww. What was I thinking?), I would be cooler in both your eyes. I looked at myself everyday in the mirror thinking of ways to be better, prettier. Maybe if I acted less intelligent, acted less "cultured," (and fuck you for making me feel bad about not wanting a tacky Louis Vuitton backpack and making me feel awful about reading more books that you) more abrasive, more skanky and more "laid back" (read: open to anal sex and being called a cumbucket)... hoping that maybe everything will get better. I couldn't do that to myself, and for a time you won. I died a little everyday after that. It did not get better until today.

And now I see you, after everything that has happened and I see that you are nothing. You're just an ugly, oily, wrinkled, brown piece of overtanned jerky who can't spell. You look sixty and you're only in your twenties. Your fiancee has dumped your skanky ass and you're still working odd jobs (a dinky tanning salon? REALLY? Is that why you're so jerky-like? You buy your own shit to boost your sales. EWW.). So much for all the talks of you being a successful executive and fabulous and better than me (even without a college degree or no known values? Hmmm.). I'm glad you are both out of my life. The friendship was never really good to begin with anyway. So I say goodbye to you now, happier about myself that I've been for over four years. I can't believe I considered you as someone worthwhile. I can't believe I thought what happened was my worst nightmare because you're better than me. You're not.

I wish you no success, because that would be futile. Keep away from married men because you never know who may want your head on a platter next and may your new job give you a really bad case of skin cancer.

With absolutely no love and only a lingering feeling of betrayal,

Lyra

Found it! WHEE!

Left to Right: Joel, Me, Mariter, Michelle, Cholo. Taken during our thesis exhibit opening night. My hairstylist cut gave me bangs that night and it changed my life forever. Haha.

Currently Reading...

I was at Fully Booked yesterday and I picked up these books:

Pride and Prejudice and Zombies by Jane Austen and Seth Grahame-Smith

The Time Traveller's Wife by Audrey Niffenegger

The Zombies book is going well. It's a light read and I'm enjoying it so far. This is a change for me, since I usually buy books that I have already read. I initially wanted to get some Angela Carter and Roald Dahl books, but the idea of reading new books prevailed. It has become an unhealthy obsession of mine to rebuild my fabulous library *sniff* after all my books (design, art, fiction, non-fiction, books from my childhood and teen years etc) drowned in a flood in 2006. Perhaps this purchase is another step to my healing (haha. Or not. I'm just an impulsive buyer.)

In other news, I got SIX (!!!!) letters and postcards in the mail today. That's the most I got EVER. I am very happy. Oh yes I am. Mwahahahaha.

Also, if you've noticed that I added you to my bloglist that's because you're fabulous and I love reading your posts (well, yeah). Thank you for keeping me sane and inspired. ;) I'm drinking tea in your honor.

Gehehehe.

Please Don't Eat Sushi! Love, Mom

I wish someone would take notice and turn this blog into a book. I can definitely relate. Heehee.

I Fall In Love With You More Everyday

Connor and his Nanny, Luisa.

It's funny how you're only a year old and all these girls are going ga-ga over you.I can just imagine how it will be a couple of years down the road. Looks like I need to arm myself as early as now.

My Time-Sucking DVD Collection and Other Vampires

Spent the day with Connor and watched Nosferatu on DVD (among other things). Before that, my sister and I went to Megamall to see if any of the bookstore there had the watercolor book I wanted. No such luck, I did come out of Powerbooks with two lettersets.

I got Simon Thorpe's Vampires and Rachel Williams' Miss Anne Thrope. The best part? Each set was only about 1.50USD. AWESOME.

LOOT!

I am a happy paper owner.

Had a wonderful time with my lovely friends Annelyn and Mahala the other day. We went to the Fully Booked at Bonifacio Global City and I found these gorgeous stationery sets by Galison. I got two sets, I wanted to get ALL of them though. I picked the William Morris Clover Set and the Cherry Blossom Set since both designs have special significance for me.

A closer look. So pretty!

AAAAAAAND! I got brown ink! The brand is Stuart Houghton Calligraphy in Sepia. You have to use a dip pen with it but that's what I wanted to do with the brown ink I was craving for anyway. WHEEEEE!

In other news, knitting has been a little slow going. I have a million projects that I want to do, but I need to focus on one project at a time (the LEGENDARY BEDSPREAD is a life project, so it doesn't count. Haha!) I'm currently knitting a Macbook cozy for Annelyn using blood red acrylic yarn.

In my pajamas, knitting away.

Sigh.

Little Boy, you are so much braver than I am. I could take lessons from you. Your Lola's right, you are really our epitome of perfection.

I'm craving for brown ink...

Image yoinked from melpens.com

Images from my Diana

I am so glad I got this thing. It takes beautiful pictures and it's very handy. I used 100 speed Fuji film and it came out great! With this and my Holga 120GN, I'm quite satisfied. For now.

Connor, all the bad melts away when I hear your quiet breathing.

Mwahahahaha!

You will be mine soon, my pretty.

*covets*

I want a Lubitel.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY NUNI!

You are the best sister that anyone can ever ask for! Mwah!

I Want My Long Hair Back

Oh nooooo...

I wish people would stop tearing apart old perfectly good typewriters to make jewelry out of their keys. It makes me unspeakably sad that they would kill such beautiful machines. It's the same sad feeling I get when I hear about elephants being killed for ivory.

There is nothing like clacking away at a typewriter. I have written so many good stories (in my opinion anyway) with a typewriter. There are just some stories that won't come out well written with a computer program, but write beautifully in an old typewriter with a slightly faded ribbon.

Mean Thought

You know, I love Audrey Hepburn as much as the next girl, but holy shit. Will you fucking assholes stop it with the Audrey Hepburn already? "OMG! I lurv Audrey Hepburn! She's, like, my fashion guru." FINE. But before I take you seriously, will you please do your research and watch her movies so you can contribute to the conversation a little more intelligently?

SHEESH.


"She held herself very straight, like Audrey Hepburn, whom all women idolize and men never think about."
— Jeffrey Eugenides (The Virgin Suicides)

ETA: I have gotten some reaction with this post (Holy cow. People read my blog. Okay, people I know in real life read my blog. Haha.) Listen, I don't hate Audrey Hepburn. I don't hate people who like Audrey Hepburn. What I find annoying are people who name names to look/sound cool. Like people who wear Che Guevarra shirts and say that Che Guevarra's rock star (sad but true) C'mon kids, there's a whole world of information at your fingertips (and your local video rental place) Just saying.

Blogging at work

It's kinda fun. I realize that I haven't posted here in a while, but that should change soon. i have several projects in the works. Some are languishing in a corner, somewhere in my house, victims of startitis. It's a New Year, and while I hate that cliche, I really am sincere in saying that my projects shall languish and be forgotten no more.

In other news, I don't feel well today. Bleh.

DUUUUUUUUUUUDE.

I'm taking fashion. I'm so happy.